It doesn't mean i am a loser..
But because i am strong, and i have Allāh be with me..
i am still trying, and trying..
Allāh knows my condition more than anyone else..
Allāh knows what should i do..
Allāh knows what's best for me in this world and hereafter..
so trust Allāh in everything..
when you feel it's not good for you, but Allāh have chosen it for you.. vice versa..
so, keep straight away..
don't flashback again..
your future waiting you..